If only I had…

If only I had…

Often clients will talk to me about their lives,  and I quite frequently hear the phrase - “If only I had………”

It's a phrase filled with possibilities, regrets, and musings about paths not taken. It captures our longing for something different, whether it's a material possession, a different circumstance, or a past decision we wish we could change. 

The Roads Not Taken

“If only I had pursued that career in art,” one might think, imagining a life filled with canvases and colors instead of spreadsheets and meetings. It's a common refrain, this yearning for a different professional path. Many people feel the tug of a passion left unexplored or a talent left untapped. The beauty of this thought lies in its power to inspire action, even if it's just picking up a paintbrush after years of neglect or starting a blog to share your creative writing.

Relationships and Connections

Another common “if only” centers around relationships. “If only I had stayed in touch with my old friend,” or “If only I had told them how much they meant to me.” These thoughts often arise from a place of deep emotional reflection. Relationships shape our lives profoundly, and the connections we forge or let slip away can significantly impact our happiness. These reflections can motivate us to rekindle old friendships or express our feelings more openly to those who matter most.

Personal Growth and Learning

Many of us have a list of skills we wish we had acquired. “If only I had learned to play the piano,” or “If only I had mastered a second language.” These thoughts remind us of the endless potential for personal growth. It’s never too late to start learning something new. The journey of acquiring a new skill can be as rewarding as the skill itself, bringing joy, fulfillment, and a sense of accomplishment. A few weeks ago, I heard of a lady who was 83 years old and was just taking up “tap dancing”. How inspiring is that!!

Health and Well-being

This one is very common when seeing clients with health challenges - “If only I had taken better care of my health.” This is a significant one for many people, especially as we age and become more aware of our mortality.  Regrets about not exercising regularly, eating healthier, or prioritizing mental well-being are common. The good news is that it's always possible to make changes to improve our health. Small, consistent steps can lead to significant improvements, and it's never too late to start.

Embracing the Present

While “if only” can be a powerful motivator, it’s essential not to get stuck in a cycle of regret. The past cannot be changed, but our attitude toward it can. Embracing the present moment and making the most of what we have now can transform our lives. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, should have been, or would have been, we can focus on what can be. Each day is a new opportunity to create the life we want, to take steps toward our dreams, and to make amends where needed. People often ask me do I have any regrets about leaving England and moving to America. That’s the only time I allow my mind to fleetingly wonder what would have happened if we had stayed in the UK.  The point is none of us really know what would have happened if we had taken a different direction in life. We can guess, but there is little point. One of the considerations we had when we were “guided” to move to Ojai in 2002 was should we keep our house in England - maybe rent it out - or should we sell it and buy over here. Kim and I thought about it, meditated on it, and decided we wanted to commit 100% to a move and if we still had a property in England, if things got tough in the U.S. we could pack up and return to our old home.

So, with determination to succeed in bringing our energy healing skills and knowledge and helping people in Americas as our goal, we sold in the UK and bought a house in the U.S. 

On our last trip back to England when we saw just how much our old house was worth, and to be honest, just for a few minutes we did have a twinge of regret - but quickly realized - we made the right decision. In my view, there is no point in looking back in life and thinking “If only I had……” - look around you and be grateful for what you have, the people in your life, and follow your heart in whatever you do.

Take the lessons life has offered you, move forward with fulfilling your dreams - and like the 83-year-old lady learning to tap dance -  make a positive change today.

Try it and see!

With Love & Light

Roger

“For those who understand – no explanation is necessary – for those who do not understand,
no amount of explaining will be sufficient”