The Knee-jerk Blame Reaction

The Knee-jerk Blame Reaction

Being the eldest of 3 brothers, when growing up it seemed like an automatic knee-jerk reaction to always blame each other for anything that went wrong.

On one occasion we were playing cricket on the back lawn and I hit the ball straight through the bedroom window. I remember now blaming my youngest brother for bowling the ball too quickly and it just “glanced” off the bat through the window!

Pathetic, eh?  My Dad also thought it pathetic, and I had to cut the lawn for the next month as punishment!

Whether you have a problem at home or work, you’re never going to get anywhere by blaming everyone else and becoming a martyr. It only adds fuel to the fire and breaks down healthy communication.

Do you listen to yourself when you are talking to your family, friends, or coworkers about a problem or weakness?

We often start a sentence with “You Always” or “You Never.” These toxic prefaces are classic blame shifters. You ALWAYS forget to check the calendar, or You NEVER let me know things in advance. It’s ALL your fault, and I BLAME you. Do these remarks sound familiar?

If you are partially or fully to blame, be strong, and own your mistake. Say things like, “Wow, I messed up on this, or I should have been more attentive to details, and it’s my fault.”

Just accepting that some things are our fault – de-fuses the situation and we can all feel a little better and move on.

With Love & Light,

Roger

“No one can dim the light that shines within”