Face the Fear

Face the Fear

For those of you who have had to give a talk or a speech in front of a crowd of people will know how intimidating it can be. Some years ago, a survey showed that many people feared speaking in public more than they feared death!!

As someone who has ran healing and spirituality workshops for nearly 40 years – even after all that time – whilst not anxious just before a new workshop – there is still a certain apprehension which only leaves once you connect with your group.

Knowing your limits is also a useful tip when considering learning to be courageous.

There are certain things that we just cannot do. Maybe you absolutely can't pick up that spider,  or go skydiving. That's okay. Sometimes these are fears or limitations that can be worked up to and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes it is highly adaptive not to be courageous; it may not make sense to do something you can't get yourself to do. Focus on building your courage for other things, learn to be mindful. Being mindful is when you are fully present in the current moment. Mindfulness can help change your brain to deal with fear in a more effective manner. You have to give yourself time to learn this skill and it takes practice.

 Meditation is one way to help improve your mindfulness. Find a quiet place and sit comfortably. You can meditate on the bus, at an airport, or any busy place, but it is best to start by learning in a quiet place with few distractions. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing (thinking "in" when you breathe in and "out" when you breathe out can help with that focus.).

Do this for 15 minutes and just be aware of the moment and of your sensations. If you do find yourself becoming distracted with other thoughts, direct your attention back to your breathing.

When you do find yourself overwhelmed by fear, using the practices learned from meditation and mindfulness can help you overcome.

Sometimes its good to force yourself into the scenario you are afraid of and allow yourself to be fully afraid. Feel the fear pulsing through you; observe it but try your best not to be overcome by it. It can help if you imagine yourself in the 3rd person by saying things like, "he seems really scared right now."

In this method, if you were afraid of going outside, you would go out the front door first and just stand on the step and then go back inside.   Next time you would perhaps just go the the garden gate – and then return inside.   Next maybe just go down the block and then try to think about how it actually isn't that bad to be away from home.

You would then repeat this process until you were completely unafraid of going outside.

The idea is to show you that there is no need to fear what you do; as such, this method is best used for irrational fears.

A couple of years ago my wife Kim, who is a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, had a client who was afraid of heights.  She did some work with him and then after the session they were just chatting and she asked what he did for a living.  His reply – I’m a helicopter pilot!!

That one session helped him really look forward to going to work and not be fearful every morning.

There is an old saying – “Face the fear – and do it anyway”

Remember – “Nothing can dim the light that shines within”

With Love & Light,
Roger