“Happy, Happy Talk”

“Happy, Happy Talk”

For those of you old enough will remember the song from the movie “South  Pacific” many years ago – as I recall it was the first movie with a curved screen and stereophonic and at the time was sensational.

So, what is Happy talk?

Whilst I am not a believer in everything we say must be deep and profound – I am also not a big fan of lots of small talk. 

In England usually the first topic of conversation – or to start a conversation with a stranger we comment on the weather. “Looks like rain again” or “It’s a bit chilly this morning” are a good way to start to engage people.  I know when we first moved to California I used the same technique – “What another beautiful warm day it is” was my opening gambit – but as nearly every day is a beautiful warm day I just had many strange looks as if I was nuts!

So is small talk a waste of time – or can it help “lift” people who are feeling a bit down.

How many times did a little light banter leave you feeling…a little lighter? Humans are social beings: We crave connection---that’s why Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is worth over $17.5 billion---and small talk, while maybe not scintillating, is a way to connect.

Small talk makes you pay attention. Yoga types call it “living in the present.” I call it “putting down your stupid smartphone long enough to have a conversation with a human being in three dimensions.” Whatever you call it, it’s a good thing.

If you want, as the book says, to make friends and influence people, being liked is important. People like people who are generous (and confident) enough to engage them. Small talk isn’t just about being gregarious or entertaining---it’s a gesture of respect.

So if you’re convinced small talk is worth the effort, here’s how to get better at it. 

Ready? Practice. Try stuff out, see what works. That’s it. As for technique, remember the basics: make eye contact, drop a compliment (if you mean it), share a common experience (while keeping the focus on the other person), and don’t be too self-conscious.

Due to the pandemic many of us have been isolated a lot during the last year – now is the time to start to reconnect – and if it’s small talk- so what.

Let’s catch up with lost time – we have all missed friends and colleagues so as we start to slowly mingle again – make your talk “happy talk” and lift the spirits of everyone around you – be grateful for what you have and look forward to being a catalyst for bringing joy and happiness to all those around you.

Remember – “Nothing can dim the light that shines within”

With Love & Light,
Roger