Maybe a Bit of Anger Does you Good!

Maybe a Bit of Anger Does you Good!

World of Healing

Strange as it may seem, angry people, tend to be more optimistic!

This finding may seem particularly surprising since many of us tend to view angry people in generally negative terms. 

“Optimistic” may not be a descriptive term that readily comes to mind. Some research suggests that following the 9/11 attacks, people who reported experiencing anger tended to expect fewer attacks in the future than those who did not experience anger. The people who reported experiencing greater fear tended to be more pessimistic and expected more future attacks. Fear can be a quite different emotional experience than anger, in the sense that it is often experienced as immobilizing, which can understandably lead to a sense of helplessness and pessimism about the future.

Another surprising observation is that generally speaking, many of us tend to think of anger as being “bad” in the context of a harmonious relationship.

This can be true if the anger is used carelessly, harmfully, or is mismanaged. On the other hand, when anger is actually justified and is proactively directed toward finding and implementing a solution, it is quite helpful to the future of a relationship.

Baumeister and colleagues (1990) found that hiding anger in relationships can be quite detrimental. This is because when you hide your anger from your partner, they remain blissfully unaware that they have done something to upset you (people are not mind readers!), which often results in them continuing to engage in harmful or upsetting behavior. This does no good for anybody. When you express your emotions openly, your partner then has an opportunity to listen and take proactive steps toward rectifying the situation.

Just a few thoughts for you to consider – but whatever you do – don’t beat yourself up unnecessarily if you think you should be able to rise above a little anger – maybe it can be good for you!

Remember – “Nothing can dim the light that shines within”

With Love & Light,
Roger